WARRIOR LESSONS: Kicking the Crap Out Of Adversity….Part Three: How to be positive when the world keeps harshing your buzz!

Welcome to the third instalment of my guide to the most excellent weaponry to have in your arsenal when life tries to fly kick you to the ground- that bastard!

I’d like to think that armed with these little strategies and mental skills you can stare life’s obstacles straight in the eye and be a freakin’ force to be reckoned with!

It’s all about being better equipped to deal with a disaster, conundrum or setback.

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THE POWER O’ POSITIVITY : Affirmations

I’ve never been a fan of the mumbo-jumbo self-help dogma that was forced down our throats in droves back in the nineties.  Remember that plethora of self-help propaganda that seemed to cavalcade us at every angle? It’s not that I didn’t believe in ways of self-improvement.  During my twenties I just didn’t want to subscribe to the notion that some book with Mars or Venus in the title was going to solve mine or the world’s problems. Nor did I think that some Anthony Robbins-esque character in a power suit and microphone was going to swoop down, shouting out self-improvement mantras like a hardcore gospel preacher, rescuing me from my riddles and questions. Nope. Still don’t.

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Don’t get me wrong; I’m not a complete cynic, and I’m all up for self reflection and the path of continual self-improvement.   However I am conscious of the fact that ‘movements’, trends, books, catchphrases and fads come and go; at the core of any kind of self-improvement is being honest with oneself and taking steps to change your mindset to a better and stronger one. Self-help in the guise of a pile of books, expensive seminars, magnets and merchandise just ain’t my bag, baby.

However, on my path of finding what works for ME, I’ve come to embrace the power of positive self talk in the form of affirmations and visualisation as a very easy and effective way of keeping focussed on my personal goals, and boosting my confidence and ability to achieve them. They’re a good bow to have in the arsenal of weaponry.  And great if you’re particularly prone to sometimes forgetting how awesome you are.  You need little cues to remind yourself – in the hope it will sink in!

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Image credit: Carsten Witte

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Here’s how they work (or don’t!)

Words or phrases that we say repeatedly to AFFIRM a single thought or idea are the foundation of the way we are programmed throughout our lifetime. What we say ourselves, about ourselves, over and over can soon become BELIEFS- and then we begin to form the idea that this belief is our reality. When we say and think negative things to ourselves we form strong fears of poverty, health, weight and relationships. The emotions connected with these beliefs can even become our comfort zone, no matter how negative they might be.

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We can choose to negatively talk or positively praise ourselves. It stands to reason that if most of our self talk is positive, we will act in a positive manner.

When we make POSITIVE affirmations we are making causative intentions to resolve to change our behaviour for the better, to make a new start, to accomplish a goal, or to believe in oneself. Focused affirmations are a great way to start your new tomorrows. When you feel tension, stress, or any type of anxiety, an affirmation which makes you feel good is where you need to go. One of my faves? Shouting to the universe ‘throw me a rope, I will climb it!’

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For the affirmations to work you must not only say something which makes you feel better, you have to FEEL the words. Visualise yourself in a happy scenario, doing, living or being your desire. See it, feel it, even taste it! The more emotion you have the faster you will draw it to you.

If you say an affirmation when you are feeling really down, and you don’t think it’s doing anything for you, just keep on. Every time you say something positive you will bit by bit feel better. A little bit of feeling better is better than lots of feeling depressed.

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But let’s step it up a notch. Positive SELF talk.

What makes you YOU? Whatever it is, I’m sure its pretty damn special. And you need to tell yourself this every day. Being perfect is boring. It’s a yawn, a snore; tedious & freakin’ tepid. It lacks imagination. Being unique, individual, developing and having character; so much more interesting.

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Body issues and hating parts of yourself that make you who you are, they’re just such a waste of time and are so limiting to your potential. The pursuit of perfection is such a yawnfest & time-sucker. It’s totally not worth it!

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Realistically, there is nothing you can do that will change the length of your legs or the roundness of your ass or those cute little freckles you so despise. Your genes honey, have pretty much set the blueprint up before you even popped from the womb. The one thing you DO have the power to change is your MIND! You can decide to change your perspective about how you view yourself and that is the most fantastic thing!

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Remember, just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean others don’t too. Your perceived ‘flaws’ can become assets. They are something different & wonderful. They separate you from other people and make you unique.  It’s important that, while you know recognize these flaws and ‘faults’ and where there is room to improve, you keep them to yourself!

Flaunt all of your positive qualities because that’s what’s going to get keep your positive momentum speeding along.  You need to remind yourself this every day.

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You are going to see yourself differently. Don’t scrutinise. Step back from the mirror. Be kinder to yourself.  Why be your critic when you can be your best publicist?

If you catch yourself using negative self-talk, stop and rephrase. Eliminate the negative words. Focus instead on the best course you can take and do it.

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Remember there is nobody else like you. Embrace that fact, fiercely.

“You, who make angels stutter and mystics moan – congratulations for being here so well. It’s not an easy gig, this thing called life. In fact, it’s quite the ass-kicking experience. But oh, how you’re living brilliantly anyway. Even when you think you’ve failed, the Universe stands in awe of you. Even when you forget who you are, blades of grass long to rub up against you. Even when you hide your gifts, the air aches to breathe you. In. Thank you for existing so perfectly.” (Sera Beak)

“You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere.” -Buddha
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Hoping that these power tools of positive self talk and positive affirmations can more than help speed you along to your chosen goals!

Yours in strength + power

x DS

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